Blessings After Adversity

You will notice that there have been no postings in over a year. Ironically, I had more to say than ever before in my life, but was not allowed to say it. And for the protection of the children we had in our home, whom we loved in spite of the hardship their situation brought, we agreed that writing about it publicly was not a good thing. However, as I look back on the past few months since our foster children returned home, I can see some tremendous blessings that have come to fairly quickly restore a feeling of peace in my heart that has been missing for many months.

When our foster children arrived, we soon understood that we could no longer keep up what had become our accustomed pace. We dropped almost all extra activities and our boys immediately became helpers - their number one responsibility being to entertain so I could make dinner, fold laundry, etc. Our only real activities were just our family time together to read the scriptures, pray and have Family Night. We thought for sure life would go back to the old ways, but it just hasn't. Although we are getting back into some things, we have become more selective on what we allow to take up our time. We have more time to spend together and be home as a family. Being compelled to simplify our lives has been a tremendous blessing.

Who knew building a Lego bridge could be so much fun!

The event that sort of "forced" the issue, making DCFS commit to finally sending the kids home instead of continuing to drag out the situation, was Adam working on a project that took him to New York for 2 1/2 weeks. We decided that if he was going to have a "free" hotel room for that long that we needed to take advantage of the situation. Our foster daughter, the last child still in our care, went home just before we left. It was hard to say goodbye. We loved her and knew we would miss her terribly, but this was the right time for all of us to make the break from each other. Tyson is at a really great age right now - pretty independent, but not too old yet to think his parents are a complete embarrassment to him. So we wanted to take him on an adventure in New York. (Jacob stayed with my parents and then with Adam's sister, Emily - thanks guys!). It was really only a vacation for Tyson and I since Adam worked hard while we were there. Tyson was the perfect age for traveling. He quickly learned the subway system and was so helpful in getting us on the right trains, and that gave us the freedom to go anywhere we wanted. We would walk around for 10-12 hours a day trying to see as much as we could. Tyson also loves theater, so we saw Phantom of the Opera, Mary Poppins and Wicked. He was afraid they would be boring, but about 10 minutes into our first show, he was hooked. Although we really didn't see much of Adam in our time there, it was the best bonding time I've ever had with Tyson - like 2 friends out traveling together. It is something we will both look back on and remember and treasure. A true blessing.

Top of the Empire State Building

Tyson's first Broadway experience

Thankfully Tyson loved my favorite bakery as much as I did, and with all of the
walking we were doing, the calories just burned away - so it was guilt-free eating

And finally, while we had our foster children, our boys were squished together on bunkbeds into the smaller of our two upstairs kids bedrooms. We have a larger bedroom down in our basement that we tried to get them to move into, but neither wanted to be down there - at first. Around December, when the boys were each moved back in their own rooms, we learned Jacob was still considering our suggestion from earlier and informed us he was ready to move down there. We were leery at first, thinking we'd get the bunkbeds dragged down there just in time for him to change his mind and want to move back up. But that never happened. When he realized he was literally sleeping right under us, he was at peace and has never been scared to be down there at night. With Jacob out of his bedroom, we now had an empty room...

For Christmas, our anniversary and my upcoming birthday, Adam has helped me shop for and purchase a desk, chair, bookcases and accessories for MY NEW OFFICE! It's beautiful. It's heavenly. It's the first time in our married life that I've had a room that's all my own. And I love it! I have to make myself leave it to get other things around the house done. It's probably why I'm actually sitting and blogging today - an excuse to be in here. I chose a light blue color for the walls, my desk is an espresso color, and the bookshelves and trim are white. I have lacy curtains and flowery lamps. I've bought bins and baskets in which to store all of my things, and it's almost completely organized now. It's girly and peaceful and my favorite room in the whole world. What a blessing for me in my testosterone-filled home.

My Haven

It was never ever a goal of ours to do foster care. We did it because the promptings came and we wanted to be obedient. In the midst of the adversity, it was hard to see the blessings. Thankfully, the Lord eventually does show us some of the blessings of our adversities. So, while life has not ever gone the way I had planned, I am feeling so loved by my Heavenly Father who is leading me on an incredible journey. I am so blessed!

Christmas 2009

You know, my blog is one of those places I go to when I want to share the happenings of our family. Ironically, the biggest adventure our family has ever had is completely off limits for me to blog about. I guess if you want to know anything about what's going on with our foster kids, you will have to revert to the old fashioned ways of either giving us a call or shooting us an email.

What I can share is a snapshot of our great Christmas holiday. We were foster childless for 3 days, so we were able to really enjoy each other - and some true peace on earth.

One of our favorite Christmas traditions has become leaving surprises for others on their doorstep. ( I won't say specifically what it is in case you become "victim" to our particular gift.) This year the boys came up with their own incognito, ring-the-doorbell-and-run outfits.

Yes, we have another tradition of opening and wearing new Christmas jammies on Christmas Eve. Thanks grandma and grandpa!


Christmas morning traditions: Wake mom and dad up at 7 am; make a mess of the family room as quickly as possible; around 8 am grandma and grandpa Harmon arrive, bringing more gifts of course; for breakfast we enjoy eggs, bacon (the only day of the year we have real bacon instead of turkey bacon, much to Tyson's relief), oranges and a 4th ward famous Shirley Millar cinnamon tea ring; after breakfast, crash in front of the TV with a new movie playing - this year it was Star Trek.

We broke with tradition a little this year by going to Adam's sister's house (Julie) for lunch and games. It was so fun it may have to become part of a new tradition. But in the middle of the afternoon, I got a frantic call from my mom saying she just really needed us to bring by her camera that she had left at our house that morning. I agreed, feeling that I should honor my father and my mother. As we drove into their condo complex, Adam pointed out a car that looked suspiciously like my baby sister's van with its Idaho plates. There was further suspicion when we walked up to the door and it was quite noisy inside of what is generally a very quiet house. Yay - my sister and her family surprised us by showing up in the middle of Christmas day for a 5 day visit!!!

Timmi, Tyson and Tanner - best friends


Bella and Jacob - both wonder why cousins can't get married

It was the best Christmas present EVER. Tyson swore nothing could beat the year Santa brought us our kitty. It showed our boys that what Santa brought them this year was just "stuff." What really matters is our relationships with others - one of the only things we get to take with us into the next life. That is what we really treasured this year at Christmas. And that is also what our foster children have given to us - a truer understanding of why we need to really take care of and be grateful for the rare gift of a loving family and friends as we now understand more clearly that not everyone gets that in this world.

So to all of our family and friends out there - we love you! We are grateful for all of the ways you have blessed our lives this past year and wish you a happy 2010!

Our Two Turkeys

Tyson has been wanting to give the Family Night lesson for weeks, but keeps forgetting to plan it. This week he was determined to have his turn. After school he sat down at the computer and wrote out the play that has been in his mind. (That sure says something about what goes on in that little head of his!) It turned out to be one of our most memorable Monday nights ever!

Tyson's Play:

"Two Turkeys, A Farmer and A Narrator"

Narrator: there were two turkeys one was selfish and the other loved to give!

Turkey one: I’m selfish!

Turkey two : I love to give!

Narrator: so the turkeys lived happily in the barn yard together,

Then on thanksgiving a man came (the farmer no doubt ) so the farmer came and said…

Farmer: look we already have a turkey to eat but there are more turkeys coming so one of you has got to go , so we’ll have a little contest so here we go who wants to give up on of there fine old feathers?

Narrator: well turkey one held firm but the second said…

Turkey two: I will!

Farmer: okay please give me the feather, okay thank you very much, now who will give up and leave?

Turkey one : I won’t

Narrator: but turkey two said…

Turkey two: I will

Narrator: well the farmer was touched by this and he said…

Farmer: you can stay as for you turkey one you will have to go !

Narrator: well turkey two lived happily ever after but turkey one well let’s just say that he was dinner the next thanksgiving!

THE END

Together, Tyson and Jacob designed their costumes. Tyson came up with wearing red and putting on headbands, but was perplexed as to what to do for feathers. Jacob brilliantly suggested using Q-tips.
Gobble! Gobble!

A Happy Halloween

Halloween is one of the busiest holidays at our house. Thankfully, Jacob was thrilled with the purchase of an "Obi Wan" Target special, but for Tyson I actually had to dust off my sewing machine and pattern reading skills. In the end, I managed to make a Gandalf wizard hat and I was quite proud of my accomplishment! But before we could jump into Halloween, we threw Jacob a Monster Mash birthday party. What Halloween would be complete without a house full of 6 year old boys!

Jacob's Monster birthday cake. Happy birthday 6 year old!

Trick or Treating with the Corbridges has become a favorite Halloween tradition. It began the year I broke my foot and I needed someone to take the boys around for me because Adam was out of town. The Corbridges came to my rescue and the boys had so much fun, we have done it the 2 years since then.

Hot chocolate at the Andrioli's was hands down the highlight of the evening. The boys begged to go back again about an hour later to "warm up" with another hot treat.

After 3 streets, Jacob and Jenna were happy to rest, enjoy their hot chocolate and head home.

The big boys, however, went on for a total of 3 1/2 hours of knocking on doors. Elaine and I decided it was ok to let them keep going because they were getting practice for their missions. Tyson made quite the haul - sugar headache here we come! (And of course, he had the flu by the next day, so that sugar just sat there not being eaten and tempting me for a whole week - help!)

High-Tech Help

When I asked Adam what he was going to be doing at work this week, he told me all about the brand new high-tech equipment he was going to be working on to edit the film they just shot on brand new high-tech digital cameras.

I spent the morning trying to melt crystallized honey.

Why can't they come up with some brand new high-tech gadget to solve that problem! Oh, yeah. I forgot. That's not glamorous or exciting. Why would someone be concerned about what a housewife spends her life doing? Then they'd have to invent gadgets that would stop whining, door slamming, juice spilling, arguing, urine in toilet lid hinges... Oh, so not glamorous!

Home Can be a Heaven on Earth... When School's in Session

A week ago I was feeling so sad that summer had ended so quickly and my boys would be back to school. There were still things I wanted to do with them - places to explore and experience.

Then this week hit. There has been so much fighting and tears and just plain laziness that my boys have been driving me nuts! Yesterday they ended up being grounded from everything with a punishment of "forced playing together for 2 hours." It worked. They were much more kind to each other and cooperative and cheerful when it was over.

Today I just dropped Tyson off with a quick "I love you! Have a fun day!" And that was that. My camera's broken, so not even a picture. When he gets home, he will grab a quick snack and then be off to scouts. At the moment I'm enjoying the peace of home. Jacob is playing with a friend in his room with the door shut so I can hardly hear them. Next week Kindergarten will start - and with 5 moms in our carpool, I'm just going to be in my own piece of heaven!

Will the Real Adam Please Stand Up?

Have you ever wanted to be a fly on the wall and watch what your husband is like at work?

Well, that happened for me on Thursday.

I had one of those rare opportunities of really getting to see Adam in his element. He directs things frequently, but they are generally in distant locations or on a smaller scale. However, for the past 2 weeks, he was directing a project that he wrote about the Mormon Battallion for the Church's visitor center in San Diego (located just outside the walls of Historic San Diego). It was shot close to home and so the boys and I spent Thursday afternoon hanging out at the LDS Motion Picture Studio in Provo. Tyson elected to be an "extra" for the day and ran around for 9 hours in a pioneer outfit. Jacob, on the other hand, refused to wear a costume and instead wanted to either play Gameboy or follow his dad around. Since the second option didn't really work so well, he had unlimited hours with the first. Thankfully, there was another mom there with her son and she was tired of being on set, so she let Jacob hang out with her while she read.

That left me time to just watch. I know, but actually got to see, that Adam is really good at what he does. Because he was so busy, he had little time to think about my being there, so like that fly on the wall, I had the chance to just watch and listen without him really knowing I was doing it. It really feels good to know that he is the same person at work that he is at home when it comes to who he is at heart. But there was also a part of him that was not just the guy he is at home. I saw his creativity hard at work. I heard how others respected him as their leader. I watched as he confidently made quick decisions. He was Adam and dad, but on such a huge scale that I never get to witness personally. It was really incredible. And sexy! (Can I say that on PG-rated blog?) :)

And I know he loves what he does. Thursday was a very long day for me, and I was there 4 hours less than everyone else and I was able to sit a lot. But every night, no matter how tired, Adam came home happy and content. And I am a happy wife because I know I am married to someone who is truly creative and talented and real.